More Than I Am
by Cinnamon Angel
Summary: finally updated! Lord Voldemort has risen again one year ago. Draco and his squib twin sister try to handle things as well as they can... Only they couldnt expect everything coming their way. Rated for dark themes
1. Alithea

A/N: Welcome in the realm of my second HP fic! I hope you enjoy it as much as you're enjoying the first one. Ok, a few things have to be said. First, this is slightly AU I guess. It takes place in 6th year, war context. Rated R because I've got this tendency to describe abuse rather graphically and I never know how far it can go. Read and review, please.  
  
For people who don't know me already, I'm FRENCH and never went more than one month in an English speaking country so deal with my apocalyptical way of writing, I do what I can and my beta too!  
  
Disclaimer: I own Alithea, my computer and my ff.net account. Isn't wonderful? (read it with a Petunia intonation) Lol, I guess I forgot to say that I own a rather imposing amount of insanity. *innocent smirk*  
  
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Chapter 1: Alithea.  
  
The moon was shining gloomily in the dark sky. There were no stars, they were hidden by clouds, but the moon somehow still shined through the fog. A girl was sitting on her bed, staring absently through the window. There was no noise in the room, just the wind that was rushing against the window, making the century wood crack. Her silver blonde hair was hanging loosely on her shoulders and the curls were stuck to her back. At this place, the silver had been tainted in red. She moved slowly and felt the wounds on her back burn. She wanted to cry, but no tears were coming. She was just sitting there, alone in the dark room. Feeling empty and worthless.  
  
The door opened slowly and revealed another blonde kid. At first, she nearly thought it was her father again, but it was only her twin brother. He stepped silently in the room and closed the door behind him. He then turned around and came to sit next to his sister, afraid that his touch would hurt her more.  
  
Both the teenagers said nothing. They just sat there through the night, feeling safer than during the day. They were kids of the night, afraid of the light and of its dangers. They were lonely and cold. Nobody loved them, most of them feared or hated them, and it was their father's fault. He had destroyed their childhood, they had grown too fast and too coldly. Sticking up for each other to assure their survival and not caring about anybody else.  
  
The girl snuck her arm around her brother's waist. She wanted warmth and love, she wanted to be comforted. He was still scared of hurting her, but she didn't care, she wanted to hug him with all her strength. Tomorrow, they were going to be separated. It was the beginning of a new school year and their boarding schools were far from each other. It was killing them to be left separated with no friend.  
  
The girl sighed. Another year in that snotty prep school. She knew her mother had done her a favour to send her to that boarding school: it was far better than staying at home or even in that world. She was different and the failure of the family. She was worthless because she was inferior to her parents and brother. She was a squib. Not such a disgrace, when you think about it. She was a muggle and muggles were extraordinary. They managed to do plenty of things without magic and were intelligent. This argument is valid when you're living in a normal wizard family. When your linage is pure blooded and your blood the pride and honour of your family, things are different. When your name is Alithea Arranz Malfoy, you're a disgrace to your family.  
  
The war context was only making things worse. Death Eaters were killed everyday and her brother was among them. It sounds like a contradiction, him being a Death Eater and her being a muggle, but the Malfoy kids were contradictions. Scared and dominant. Slaves and masters. Their story and personalities were complex and they didn't want to think about the hell their lives were.  
  
As the sun was raising, Alithea broke the silence. Day was making her nervous and today especially. Light fell on the trunks pushed in a corner of the nearly empty room. Her heart tightened.  
  
"Draco, will you write to me?" she whispered in her brother's ear.  
  
He smirked playfully. "Do you deserve my attention?"  
  
As she started to pout, he softly elbowed her and laughed. "Of course I'm going to write to you! Long letters in which I'll tell you everything happening around. Maybe I can even manage to sneak in Hogsmeade to buy you a box of chocolate frogs."  
  
"Can you tell Pansy that she has to write too?"  
  
He sighed and frowned in annoyance. "Honestly, how do you put up with her? She's such a chatterbox, she's really a pain in th-"  
  
"Hey, she's also our cousin, and she's one of the very few who doesn't look at me with disdain. And it's always fun to read her rambling about you," Alithea replied, smirking widely.  
  
"Please, don't remind me," Draco pleaded, rolling his eyes.  
  
The looked at each other and burst in laughter. Life isn't black or white and they always managed to be in the shades of the deepest silver. Fragile balance that they managed to keep with their good sense of humour and their complicity.  
  
Draco left to finish packing his things and Alithea definitely needed a shower. She furiously washed the blood clots stuck to her hair and dried the curls quickly. She cautiously looked at her reflection in the mirror: no trace of the previous evening had to be seen. A bruise slightly marked her porcelain cheek, but people wouldn't pay attention to that.  
  
She finally put on her uniform. She found it ugly, but well, she hadn't got a choice after all. Maroon and orange, with some stupid flat hat called a boater. The plaid skirt looked terrible in this shade of dirty orange and on top of everything, girls had to wear some knee-high maroon socks. Boys carried knobbly sticks and used them to hit each other or lift the girls' skirts. Alithea often wished she could make some of them swallow their bloody sticks.  
  
Draco met her in the hall and they flooed to Diagon Alley. While Draco hated floo powder, Alithea loved it. She loved everything that she could use in the magic world. Even if she was a squib, she had some magic inside her and she could do small things, though she had no wand and hardly any control on them.  
  
From Diagon Alley, they took a bus to King's Cross station. Although nobody in school would believe that they had seen Malfoys in a modest muggle bus, they didn't mind. Lucius would never bring them to the station. Well, truth to be told, he wouldn't mind bringing Draco and show off a bit on platform 9 3/4, but the boy would never let him leave Alithea behind and Lucius would never accept to be seen with that excuse for a human being. Besides, nobody knew that he had a daughter.  
  
The twins knew they had to go their different ways as soon as they would step in the station. They hugged each other tightly, as if it would be the last time and Draco finally broke it and turned on his heel. He walked straight to the magic platform without looking back to Alithea who was also heading to her platform. They would never look back at those moments, it hurt too much.  
  
The first person Draco saw when stepping on platform 9 ¾ was Granger. He hated her with all his heart. She was the cause of his last beating, because he was second behind her in the year. Then, she was a muggle-born. She had powers that she didn't need and wouldn't have known of if she had stayed with the muggles, but people like Alithea had to suffer a lot because they didn't belong to the magic world that they knew. He sneered at her and she looked back with disgust before turning back to Potter and Weasley.  
  
Alithea stepped in the train early. She wanted to be alone and she wanted a compartment for herself. She sat at the end of the train and pulled out her sketch book and some pencils. Both Draco and her loved drawing, it was one of the only ways they had to express themselves when the other wasn't around. At the end of the year, they would show the other their draws and the comments written beneath. In fact, their sketchbooks were like diaries.  
  
She had started to draw their separation and to write her feelings under it when someone opened the door. This immediately drove her mad. People didn't like her and wouldn't bother her, so who could it be? She first thought of Dursley, the school bully, because he was the only one daring to taunt her, but soon, a soft voice broke her hypothesis.  
  
"Sorry to disturb you, but can I sit there?"  
  
Alithea lifted her gaze and put the Malfoy icy face on. "Aren't they enough other seats in this train?"  
  
The girl took a step back and Alithea thought that she would leave, but she only started to laugh in a scary way. "Gosh, what an annoying bitch you are! I can sit here if I want to and that wouldn't be your bloody business. Be happy I'm polite enough to ask your permission!" And with those words, she plopped in the seat opposite to Alithea.  
  
"Why do you ask if you don't give a damn about people's opinions? No shut up, I don't want to know." Replied Alithea, angry and at the same time, slightly amused.  
  
The girl shook her head in disbelief and opened a book. Alithea took a closer look to the new girl. She had brown hair and brown eyes and pale skin with freckles. She was quite neutral, thought Alithea. She suddenly decided to draw her and to observe her very closely. The other girl had seen nothing and was still engrossed in her book. An hour later, Alithea was done. She was proud of her drawing, she even had managed to draw the fire in the girl's eyes. But when she tried to write something under the drawing, she didn't know what to put. Enemy? Potential friend? Just girl on the train? She decided to leave it like that, thinking that she would add a comment later and went back to her first drawing.  
  
When the train came to a stop next to Smeltings, a huge crowd of maroon and orange came out and started to go in direction of the school, dragging their trunks behind them. Alithea smirked when she saw Dudley Whale puff like a chimney, pulling an enormous trunk. She passed in front of him easily pulling her own trunk, thanks to Draco. He had put a charm on it and it was quite light now.  
  
With her light trunk, she was one of the first kids to arrive in the school buildings and lost the new girl in the chattering crowd. She didn't care, she only wanted to hide in her dorm and scare the bimbos out of it.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Meghan O'Donnell's pov*  
  
While this condescending man talks to me, I can't keep my mind off the strange girl I met on the train. Well, ok, met is not exactly the word I would use because meeting includes some sort of talking and it wasn't really the case. Anyway, all this to say that while the headmaster of this hellhole rambles, my mind rambles somewhere else.  
  
"Smeltings is a first rate school, Miss O'Donnell. Failure is not part of this academy and you'll have to remember that during your time here. You are extremely lucky. Scholarships are rare. I assume you know that here, you'll meet the elite of society, so I hope you won't bring dishonour on this school. Is it clear?"  
  
"Crystal, Sir."  
  
"You may go then. Here is your timetable. Your dormitory number is 17. You may also read the school regulations."  
  
Damn, this thing must be at least 300 pages. What am I doing here? How do people survive here seven years? I assume this school is a cause of their turning into cold and annoying people. I leave the headmaster's office and head to my dormitory, trying to pull my trunk all the way. Exactly at the same time that I pray that I don't have stairs to climb, they appear. Great. Just wonderful. Maybe I'm just going to sleep in that hall, I'm sure it's comfortable. Yeah, right. Ouch! A big mammoth has just bumped into me, and I sort of flew down the stairs. Tears are prickling my eyes; I think I've twisted my wrist. However, I stand up. The boy glares at me as if I were some sort of slug.  
  
"You'd better watch where you're going, or you might regret having come to this school."  
  
Argh... I hate this kind of bastards who think they can rule the world. They're just so... off with their heads. But even if I hate them, I love to annoy them. Insert innocent smirk.  
  
"Hum, if your hair wasn't so greasy, it wouldn't fall in your face and you would see where you are going."  
  
"Oh, looking for trouble, aren't we?"  
  
"Certainly not, I wouldn't steal your only skill and occupation. See you around."  
  
I plaster my best smirk on my face and this time, I manage to pull my trunk to the top of the stairs. No way I show some weakness in front of him. I don't know how I feel when I face the girl of the train. Her silver eyes are lit with anger when I step inside. The other girls are not there and since their trunks are still locked, I assume they spent about two minutes in the dorm.  
  
"Don't tell me you're in that dorm," snaps the blonde girl.  
  
"Afraid I am. Sorry to burst your bubble. Now just forget me, ok? I already used most of my comebacks on that stupid killer whale and sarcasm is low tonight." I sigh and collapse on my bed. I'm just exhausted and all I want to do is sleep soundly and for long hours. I close my eyes and start to relax.  
  
"Have you shut his face?"  
  
I turn my head to face the girl. She's smiling a bit, it's so small that I'm not sure if I'm imagining it or if it's actually real.  
  
"Yeah, so easily, it was rather disappointing." I sigh. The girl stands up and come to me. She extends her hand and I take it nervously.  
  
"Congrats. I'm Alithea Arranz Malfoy. You've shut Dudley Dursley's face, you have my respect," she says in a very serious voice.  
  
I laugh a bit. "I'd rather have your friendship, but respect is already good. I'm Meghan Leigh O'Donnell."  
  
The word 'friendship' has a strange effect on her. She totally loses her snobbish attitude and it's like a mask falling to reveal a shy and unsure girl.  
  
"You want to be my friend?"  
  
"Yeah, I like you. You've got a lot of comeback, sarcasm, and you seem to be intelligent. And you don't have a fluffy purse like the girls whose trunks are in that dorm." I gesture toward the trunks lined up against the beds. All of them but one has a fluffy purse, preferably in flashy colours.  
  
She laughs heartedly. "I never had a friend before. Forgive me for the 'annoying bitch' attitude."  
  
"Forget about it, I don't mind. Where does your name come from? It's strange."  
  
This is typically me. I ask questions that I shouldn't to people that I hardly know. Well, this one is not impolite, but I guess there are other things to ask about before this one. My mom always says that my head is messed up, what can I say in front of blatant proofs like this one?  
  
"Alithea is the Greek for truth, Arranz means silver in I don't know which Celtic language. My father has a liking for very strange names."  
  
"He must be funny."  
  
I see her face darken considerably and I quickly understand I've made a big mistake. Her smile has completely disappeared and pain is flashing through her eyes. I don't know what to do so I try to look cheery, as if I had seen nothing. She progressively calms down and looks more comfortable when she realises that I'm not going to ask further. We talk about school and countries till dinner time. I'm glad I've got a friend here.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::: I know it's short, but my first chapters always are. The second chapter is already written, I'll post it if you want me to. Review, please, it's important! 


	2. Secret one

A/N: sorry about the delay, I've got no real excuse since this chapter has been written a long time ago, but hell, I had tons of things to do and updated my other HP fic, so I forgot a bit about this one. Anyway, I hope this chapter makes it up. Mmmh... for people who don't know me, I always reply to every single review, so well, my A/N tend to be quite long after a while. *sheepish smile*  
  
Disclaimer: Alithea is mine. Draco is too, in my delusional little head. What can I say? Denial is good, thus I live in it.  
  
Pere falc: Thanks, I hope you like second chapter as well! I hope you're gonna like this fic anyway, he he he...  
  
Dirt-is-Yummy: Hello *waves madly* shhhh... don't upset the computer! *eyes dart around* you never know what it might do! I hope this story is gonna be good. The plot is still not very well formed in my head, but anything coming to the Malfoys is unpredictable. But I have a few interesting (or so I want to believe) ideas... *wink* I never came another story with this storyline so I really wanted to post it and I hope I don't disappoint. Fire'N'Ice found the name of Alithea and I started jumping madly in front of my screen, it was simply perfect. *smirk* Interesting is the word. Things around Dudley and magic tend to be great.  
  
Fire'N'Ice: Rah rah *twirl* yeah, I posted it. And now I post another chapter and yesterday I worked on chapter 3, he he he. Thanks for the beta job, by the way. Mmmh, you know what? I'm in dire need of a chapter in the Anya story or the evil Snape one so hurry up! And where is KMS, huh? *taps foot* Nobody owns Meghan, you silly. Who would want to own her? *innocent smirk*  
  
Happigolucky616: thanks, you hyper reviewer, lol. Yeah, the Dudley/Alithea interaction will get pretty interesting in this chapter *smirk*. And with Draco too... Cuz Draco is Draco and he HAS to be in as many chapters as possible...  
  
Kristina: I know, but not completely set in the muggle world. Well, for now... *smirk* Huh huh, I've got a lot of ideas in my little head so continue to read and enjoy, and of course, review! Thanks for being my first reviewer! *grin*  
  
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Chapter 2:  
  
*Alithea's pov*  
  
I wake up with the rising of the sun and immediately jerk my head in the direction of Meghan's bed. I feared that it was all a dream and that I had imagined her because I missed Draco. I see her brown hair pointing under the thick dark blue blanket and it makes me smile. She's real.  
  
I get up carefully and open my trunk. There should be some healing potion somewhere, if I didn't forget it under my bed. I'm relieved to find it and clutch the little phial as if it was my salvation. I take the direction of the bathroom, I'm the only one up and I'm grateful for that. I have to clean my injuries before downing the potion and they should totally heal in about three hours. Shame that this potion can be taken only 24 hours after the accident, I could have spent a better night.  
  
Half an hour later, I'm all set and go back to the dorm. All the others are still sleeping but Meghan. She's sitting in her bed, obviously still sleepy but a ball of brown fur is cuddled in her lap. As I close the door, she looks up and grins at me.  
  
"Look, it's an owl! It's crazy, isn't it? It's so cute! And it's got a letter!" she all excited about the owl as fear clutches my stomach. Stupid Orion, can't even land on the right bed!  
  
Meghan unties the letter from the owl's claws and look at the envelope in awe. "God, it's for you! How is that possible?"  
  
I come to sit on her bed and take the letter. Alithea is written on the envelope in Draco's writing, I can't help but smile widely and rip it open.  
  
""Dear Thea, As I keep my promises, I send you this (but it's really only because I promised) and I even told Pansy you message. She started to squeal in delight, please remind me to lock her in a closet and forget her for the rest of the year. Other than that, nothing really new here. Dumbledore again gave us his nonsensical new school year speech at which everybody applauded like idiots (I let you guess who applauded the loudest) No, it wasn't me if that's what you came up with. Oh, and you'll never guess who's our new DADA teacher... Percy Weasley. The school standards are getting lower and lower but well, his lessons are probably going to be fun. No I'm not smirking, what makes you think so? I hope everything's ok at your school, ask if you need me to change Dursley in something corresponding him better. Love, Draco.""  
  
I chuckle slightly, this is so typically Draco. Then I realise that Meghan is still staring at me, I wonder how I can explain this. Maybe I can let it pass like this, it's worth a try.  
  
"It's from my twin brother, he's in another boarding school." I hesitate a bit, but finally hand her the letter. She'll probably think it's weird that he writes on parchment, but I can always say that he's a weirdo. Which he is, by the way.  
  
She lets her eyes wander on the letter and smiles a bit. She hands it back with a grin. "He's funny, you're lucky to have a twin brother, it must be fun! But why aren't you in the same school?"  
  
"He's a bit... special, you know." Great. Couldn't be vaguer I guess. That was really a stupid reply, I can't believe it.  
  
"He's a genius or something?"  
  
I smirk internally at this. Draco, a genius. I shake my head and laugh. "Yes, he's quite intelligent. He even managed to tame that owl and taught him how to take letters to me and vice versa."  
  
I see Meg's eyes widen, I'm a bit ashamed to lie like this, but I know it's impossible for her to know the truth. I can't exactly tell her like this that my twin brother is a wizard, that he's enrolled a school of witchcraft in Scotland, that he loves riding brooms and that the poltergeist haunting the castle is called Peeves!  
  
"I'm impressed. So you use that owl to send letters? It's insane!" she's so enthusiastic, it makes me smile.  
  
Our conversation as this moment is interrupted by Martha waking up and I feel relief wash over me, I'm glad it's over. Martha glares at us and graciously jumps out of her bed, only in her knickers and bra. Of course, she'll go to the bathroom like this. Once a slut, forever a slut.  
  
As Meghan wants to get up, I take Orion in my hands and tuck him in my pocket. He hoots reprovingly and wakes the rest of the dorm.  
  
"What was the bloody noise?" asks Sally while stretching. I don't mind her that much, she's appreciatively normal and rather intelligent.  
  
"Two bitches wanted to wake us from our beauty sleep," snaps Julianna angrily. I laugh at her mockingly; if this is beauty sleep, the result is not very convincing.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Meghan's pov*  
  
How do you feel when you wake up because an owl landed on you? I bet nobody knows but me, and maybe Alithea. I feel strange. An owl, it's not the kind of creepy-crawly that you can tame, is it? Ok, Alithea is weird, so maybe her brother is too, but an OWL?  
  
Besides, I know she was lying. I admit that she's a good liar, nothing to say about that, but this context is way too unusual to fool me. Who uses owls for post? And she didn't really seem to believe in her brother's genius. I wonder what she would have come up with if I had let her speak.  
  
Anyway, no more time to think, I'm starving and breakfast is in 2 minutes. Alithea leads me through a labyrinth of halls, doors and stairs. I'm scared, how will I ever find my way in this? A few students look at me in surprise, probably because I'm with her. From the way she greeted me on the train, I can tell that she isn't the most sociable person on Earth and with her sharp tongue, a lot of people probably took her comments right in the face.  
  
We sit at the end of a table in a corner of the room and I survey the cafeteria. A crowd of orange and maroon chatters noisily and teachers totally ignore the mess. They look rather respectable, but well, in my mind, they'll always be teachers and thus, nuisances.  
  
Of course, the central protagonist of this menagerie is Dudley Dursley. He's already clutching a package in his big hand and screaming to who listens (which means nobody) that his parents already sent his provision of sweets for the week. Considering the size of the package, I don't wonder anymore how someone can become that fat.  
  
The day goes on slowly and boringly. I fall asleep in biology and in math, the French teacher rambled in that impossible language for two hours without breathing at all, I've got the whole biography of Shakespeare to write for tomorrow and I've got so many books in my bag that my shoulder is literally screaming its suffering.  
  
As Alithea and I step into the dorms building, someone accidentally bumps into me and the shock scatters my books everywhere on the steps. I look behind me and face Dursley, you can cross out the accidentally. He smirks joyously.  
  
"So sorry, I hope you're ok."  
  
"I am. Disappointing, isn't it?"  
  
I kneel down to gather my things. Alithea is already doing it and thanks to her, nearly all my books have reintegrated my bag. At that moment, Dursley steps toward us and grabs Alithea's hair, pulling her to her feet.  
  
"Made a friend Malfoy? Touching, really. The outcast eventually learnt the word "socialize" over the summer!"  
  
Alithea looks at him insolently, not even wincing as Dursley still holds her hair firmly. His little gang sneers at us, hidden behind him, all the other students have left, happy that it wasn't their turn to be bullied. Suddenly, he yelps and lets go of her hair, staring awestruck at his hand. I can see that it's all burnt, I've never seen that before, it's rather scary.  
  
Dursley steps back and looks at Alithea with a mixture of fear and disgust. "You bloody freak." He then turns and runs inside the building with Puppet Polkiss, I hope it's because he wants to cry for his poor little hand. Alithea hands me my bag without a word and swiftly enters the building. This time, I can't let it pass and I drag her in a corner.  
  
"What the hell was that?" I whisper forcefully. "And don't give me bullshit this time! An owl lands on my bed, you lies about your brother, now Dursley burns his hand by touching your hair? Some strange things happen around you, I want to know."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Alithea blankly stared at Meghan. She knew she was in trouble but she still held the hope that Meghan would let it slip.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," she finally muttered, looking at her feet.  
  
She was furious with herself. For years she had avoided having friends because she didn't need them and because they would only bring trouble. Now she had one, since the previous evening and it was already a mess. She was angry to have believed that she could hide it all and go on with life. Meghan was intelligent, she had already seen beyond her lies.  
  
"Yes you know. What is it? Can't you trust me? Do you realise how I feel? I arrive here, I make only one friend, to realise that this friend is continually lying to me! There's no way out for you now, so tell me the truth for God's sake! You don't know where to start? I can ask you a few things; how did you burn Dursley's hand?"  
  
Alithea knew that Meghan was saying the truth. She felt terrible. After hardly one day, she already had to let go of one of her secrets, so how long would she keep the truth about her father from her only friend? She let herself slide to the floor, feeling hopeless and wishing that Draco would be here to send Meghan to hell. He always had a sharper tongue than her, and even if being the youngest, he was quite the dominant one between them. She was counting on him, maybe too much, by the way.  
  
What could she do now? She was screwed! She couldn't help but think bitterly about what Draco would say when she writes to him. She shook her head and looked up at Meghan.  
  
"It's magic," she finally answered in a strangled voice.  
  
Meghan came to sit next to her. "I beg your pardon?"  
  
"It's magic. I burnt Dursley's hand with magic. My brother is not a genius, he's just a wizard, going to a school of witchcraft and wizardry in Scotland. Orion is his owl and in the magic world, everybody uses these animals to carry letters. Happy?"  
  
Meghan started to laugh uncontrollably. "That was a really imaginative story, you're skilled at that! Now, can I have the truth please?" She then realised that Alithea wasn't smiling at all and it made her laughter die abruptly. "You're joking, right?" she finally asked unsurely.  
  
Alithea silently shook her head and stared blankly at the cracked wall in front of her for minutes, trying to sort things out. "God, Draco's gonna be furious. The magic world is supposed to stay a secret and I just blew it up."  
  
Meghan grinned. "It's still a secret and it's safe with me, I promise. But only if I can write to your brother and ask him plenty of questions that he's gonna find stupid."  
  
Alithea laughed. "You remember Dursley saying that I learnt that word "socialize" over the summer? Well, if I have, Draco certainly hasn't and he's not about to. The guy is far worse than me when it comes to push people away." She paused and eventually got to her feet. "Come on, I've got to write to him."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Orion was yelling in Draco's ear at three am and it was really the kind of things that would drive him crazy. He made the nasty bird shut up and caught the letter that was destined to him. He knew it was Alithea's letter, but what he hadn't expected was the content of it.  
  
He read it, over and over again, hardly believing what she was trying to explain. Profoundly annoyed and angry, he dressed up and sneaked out of the dorm. He strolled down the halls carefully, got to the main door and broke into a run to get out of the castle's grounds. He had every intention of apparating in Smeltings, he had to chat with a certain blonde girl.  
  
Alithea and the rest of the dorm was sleeping peacefully when he arrived. He shook his sister awake, sorry to scare her in the process, but thinking that it was rather necessary. She whispered to wait outside, hidden behind the willow in the central court and she went to wake up Meghan.  
  
AS she dragged her out, Meghan was still sleepy and not even realising what was going on. Till she felt the wet grass under her bare feet. She snapped out of her sleep and looked around. They were in the court, but they weren't alone. A shadow was waiting for them under a tree.  
  
"What the hell is happening here?" said the shadow while stepping into the gloomy light coming from a room in the teachers' building. It was a boy, who looked a lot like Alithea and Meghan immediately raised the suspicion that it was Draco.  
  
"I'm sorry, ok?" snapped Alithea angrily. "And if you came here to yell at me at four am, I'm not in the mood so don't bother!"  
  
"I received your goddamn letter at three am and I wasn't exactly in the mood either! Why did you screw things like that? We already have more trouble to deal with than we can handle!" he replied through clenched teeth.  
  
"I already formulated my apologies, deal with it!"  
  
Meghan was watching the twins argue from a few feet away. Suddenly, she had the impression that someone was coming and decided to interrupt the little chat. "Sorry to disturb you, but someone's coming this way. My suggestion is shut up and run!" At this signal, the trio ran back inside and tiptoed through halls and stairs. Alithea led them to the attic, where old school furniture was rotting in peace and Draco used his wand to transfigure chalks in candles under Meghan's amazed gaze. When they were settled, the quarrel was already nearly forgotten.  
  
"Won't you be caught if you sneak back in Hogwarts too late?" suddenly asked a worried Alithea.  
  
Draco shrugged but he wasn't really listening. He was staring intensely at Meghan and she started to squirm under his gaze, feeling rather uncomfortable. Alithea noticed and elbowed her brother.  
  
"Quit it Draco, it's not her fault."  
  
Of course, he didn't listen to her and continued to fix Meghan with his clouded silver eyes. Finally, he spoke to her, but at this moment, she wished that he had just continued to stare at her without saying a word. "Let me get that straight; I don't think you're worth that mess and for me, you'll always be a danger and a way too curious and annoying little girl. Got it?"  
  
"If I'm too curious, I'm not stupid, you stuck-up prat." She saw his eyes darken to a stormy dark blue and wondered if he was about to slap her or something. He was quite impressive, scary, even and she didn't really want to know if he was indeed a genius with his wand. He didn't reply and instead of thinking that she was victorious, she felt like she wasn't worth his thinking over a reply. He turned to Alithea and his face lit up.  
  
"You should stop using magic to burn people, even if I have to admit that it must be highly entertaining when the victim is Dursley. Going now, got potions first hour today and Snape's in a fool mood; Longbottom's potion landed on him yesterday and the result was funny for us and humiliating for him, you got the point."  
  
Draco apparated away, leaving a relieved Alithea and a shaken Meghan. The blonde girl caught the gaze of her friend and smiled, trying to cheer her up. Meghan couldn't help a comment go past her lips. "I don't like your brother. Annoying git."  
  
Alithea chuckled and shook her head. "I know."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: : Yeah, Draco's a git, but such a cute one... *sigh* *snaps out of daydream* Ok, please, don't mind me and REVIEW! 


	3. Questions and Sleepless Nights

A/N: hey, sorry for the delay, I was on vacation... I really hope you continue to enjoy reading this.  
  
Quoth the Raven: He he, no, these things didn't escape my notice. In my story, Draco can apparate. He's a Malfoy, do you think he cares that he's too young? This is AU, it means if things aren't exactly following the canon and I think Alithea being able to use a tiny bit of magic is cool. Now, if you don't want to read, don't.  
  
Dirt-Is-Yummy: possessed computer, huh? Ha ha, but if a letter from Draco landed on your bed, you wouldn't know him at all (though I guess you would learn pretty fast, lol) She doesn't know... for now... Damn, you're really obsessed with Draco in this review... I shall forgive you, cuz it's Draco, he he. He is underage, but read the chapter, I think it's quite obvious why he can do magic out of school... Methinks a Dumbledore's got a soft spot for him.  
  
Happigolucky616: a hatchet???? *looks around frantically* I update, I update, I promise... *whines* Thanks, I really really really wanted to write a twin story and a squib story and I started to twirl when this idea popped in my head... *parades triumphantly*  
  
Thanks again for your reviews, you're awesome!  
  
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Chapter 3  
  
*Meghan's pov*  
  
A few days have passed since our little encounter with Ali's brother and the nasty feeling is still anchored in my mind. This guy has this ability to make you feel like shit and the worst is that it sticks in your head afterwards. Alithea says it's always been like that with him and I can't help but wonder if he has friends. Obviously not. Draco and Alithea are a wonder to me. I talk a lot with Ali, but it seems that she's so complex that the more I know about her, the more I realize that things are deeper than I thought.  
  
But whatever, the fact that there's a magic world is just so amazing that it smoothes a bit my first impression of wizards. Alithea already told me plenty of things about that world and I wish I could learn a lot more. She lent me plenty of books about history of magic, about creatures or that strange sport they call Quidditch. And I stayed in awe in front of the picture of Hogwart's castle. I can't help but pout when I see that wizards go to such a school when we're stuck in Smelting's plain buildings.  
  
Tonight, I flip through a book about famous witches and wizards. When I come to the name of Harry Potter and see that he's our age. I'm a bit taken aback to see that a kid is in this book so I read the article and come up with plenty of questions for Alithea. Being awfully curious and with a very limited patience, I jump on her bed while she's writing to her bastard of a brother. She sighs and puts down her pen, somehow anticipating that the conversation will not be closed in thirty seconds. I grin mischievously, she isn't really annoyed when I ask questions about magic, she's quite fond of the subject herself.  
  
"Who's You-Know-Who?" I ask boldly, pointing at the article.  
  
She squirms under my gaze and pales a bit. She seems to hesitate and looks around as if trying to find a way out of the conversation. This generally means it's gonna be interesting so I settle down a bit more comfortably on her bed. She sighs, knowing she's defeated.  
  
"He's a dark wizard. The worst ever known. His main goal is to eradicate muggles and muggleborns. He disappeared when he crossed path with Harry Potter, fifteen years ago or something. I guess they explain that part of the story in the book. But he rose again, approximately one year ago. The war is going on in the magic world but for now, things are rather quiet. There are attacks and such, but not real battles."  
  
I can't help but shudder. "You mean this manic bastard is out there? Followed by his army of" I scan the article again "Death Eaters? But what kind of sick lunatics would follow him?"  
  
She shrugs "Well, my father, for one."  
  
There's an edge in her voice when she says that. I'm not sure I really understand. Why would her father follow a muggle killer when his daughter is one? Is that why the family subject is painful to her when it comes to her father? I'm about to open my mouth and ask her when she stops me.  
  
"Please, I don't want to talk about it, if you don't mind."  
  
I swallow my questions and roll off her bed. As I collapse on my own bed, I throw a sideway glance in her direction. She's gone back to her letter but she seems a bit shaken. I bite my lip as I realize that I'm piling up mistakes. I really have to avoid the family subject at all costs.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Draco's pov*  
  
The circle of black shadows is standing still in the middle of the graveyard. The moon is hiding behind a cloud and only throws a fragile glimmer over the tombstones and over us. We're waiting in silence; a scared and respectful silence. Snape is next to me and looks right ahead. Or so I suppose, since we all have our hoods masking our faces. It's midnight and the Dark Lord should arrive soon.  
  
I don't know what he called us for but the mark burnt like hell on my arm. I can't help but let my mind wander far away, to London. I think Thea is safe there, I hope she is. Nobody knows that she exists. It's something I'm deadly scared Voldemort finds out. Because I know that if he does, he'll ask me to execute her and that I can't. The code of honour of the Death Eaters dwells a lot on the no-feelings thing, but I guess I'm not the average Death Eater and I won't let anyone touch her. I fight every day against Father who would want to just kill her and forget, I use up my energy so she can stay alive because she's the only element in my life that is worth something, the only person I care about.  
  
The Dark Lord appears so I shut down my thoughts. Occlumency is something that always came easy to me, I don't even really think about it. That's why I'm such a valuable element in Voldemort's eyes. If only he knew...  
  
We bow down as he starts to walk around our circle. I tense as he comes in my direction and looks at the ground. Every time he stops in front of me, I'm scared he finds out my little secrets. However, he continues his little walk and rambles about the next attack. I'm glad I'm still in school and that he mainly uses me to get information on Hogwarts and Dumbledore. I'm not exactly keen on torturing muggles, I've been in their place too many times.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Dumbledore's pov*  
  
I see the blonde boy run down the alley and crawl under the gates. God, what does Voldemort want this time? I know I won't sleep now. I'm going to wait for his return with a ball in my stomach. I've become overprotective of that boy over the years. As annoying and infuriating as he can be. He's one of my students and only a teenager. Seventeen years old and already playing with death.  
  
I hate this situation. Snape, it's different. The man turned to us and needs this crusade to expiate his faults. Draco's done nothing, he's just born in the wrong family. I can hardly believe that I send a kid spying on the darkest wizard ever. If something happens to him, I'll take the blame and I really don't know how I'll take it. Nobody knows in the Order. Only his contact. It was too dangerous for him to talk to me so somebody else reports.  
  
My knuckles turn white as I clutch the window handle. Voldemort is being more active lately. Not only does it mean that something big is in preparation in his messed up head, but it also means that Draco and Severus are going to be a lot more in danger. The more meetings there are, the more pressure is added.  
  
I let my thoughts wander for two hours, standing in front of this window. Trying to see what else I could have done instead of sending this kid to war. I could have hidden him somewhere, sent him far away, made him join our side in full light. But he refused. Any single offer. It's later that I understood, that I discovered. Narcissa told me; she couldn't bear the lies and the pressure anymore, she wanted me to understand her son.  
  
Alithea. I never met her but her name rings angelic in my ears. Since Narcissa told me, I've worked on charms, spells, wards. She's safe for now, I can only hope it continues. How could she survive under the same roof as Lucius? What made that heartless monster allow her to live? And Draco knows she's used as blackmail by his father. 'Follow me, son, and your sister will live one more day.'  
  
So he refused to quit and signed up for spying, for sacrifice and death if he's discovered. As Ronald Weasley has the habit of quoting so plainly..."Life sucks". And I can only agree with him.  
  
My fear decreases as I see the Slytherin sneak back in. I breathe again and my hand lets go of the handle. My whole arm hurts with cramps because of my tight grasp but relief smoothes the pain. Now, he's going to meet his contact somewhere and tomorrow, she'll inform me.  
  
I leave the window sill and finally allow myself to drift in a restless sleep. Haunted with nightmares of what can happen, of the battles ahead. War. Three letters to describe the horror and torment of an entire world.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ferret, is that you?" whispered a voice when the door to the empty classroom opened.  
  
"You really don't want to get on my bad side, trust me," replied the angry boy while shutting the door and wandering toward the far end corner of the room.  
  
"Fine, let's get over with this, I yearn for my bed and meeting Slytherin gits at three am is not my favourite activity," drawled the mystery person.  
  
"And here I thought you were a whore... Not that you'd cost much, by the way," Draco smirked evilly. "Ok, we'll leave that sort of comment for interclass and we work now, I hate wasting my time with you."  
  
"So do I, so spit it out, moron."  
  
Draco smiled in the shadows while watching the girl lean over the parchment and start the report. Somewhere, deep deep down, he held respect for her. Even if he thought she was irritating and insufferable.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: You loved it? Review... you didn't? you should stop reading now, because it's again gonna be one of my infuriatingly long stories. *smirk* 


	4. Pushing you away

A/N: I'm really sorry. I know, I'm very late. If you check out my bio in my profile, you might have a hint it's kinda serious, not an excuse. I wish it was just an excuse... Anyway, thanks for reading, reviewing and bearing my late updates... and no, I wont give up on this story, so don't worry. I never give up on fics. Especially HP ones. And this particular one, I'm quite proud of the squib idea and all, so yeah... Ok, I stop my rambling.  
  
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Chapter 3.  
  
Dudley turned and turned over in his bed for the whole night. His weight was making the century wood crack but he couldn't help it. The incident of the other day was haunting him and he couldn't do anything else than replaying it in his head while touching his burnt hand to make sure it wasn't a nightmare.  
  
The Malfoy girl had burnt him. How? Hah, with goddamn magic. He didn't live with freaky Potter for nothing at least: he could now tell who were the real dangers out there. And this girl was one. Oh yeah, a nasty nasty nuisance.  
  
He made the decision to keep away from her if he was alone. Better be prudent. Harry never dared touch him because that could bring the freak trouble, but the Malfoy girl, she didn't really care. Oh, he didn't like her. And he didn't like the fact that she was here instead of the magic school.  
  
But he couldn't talk to anyone about that. No, he wouldn't even tell his parents. They would worry, and send him to another school where he would have to build his power again. Not extremely difficult, but a lot of annoyance for just that. No, he wouldn't tell anyone. At least not for the moment. But he would dig up information about her. Oh yes, he knew her little secret, it would be amusing to dwell a bit more on it...  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Alithea's pov*  
  
Meghan is someone great. She's funny and all. But it can't work that way. She's too curious, she's always asking about plenty of things. And even If I know she doesn't want to hurt me, she does. So I feel really bad right now, but I'm writing to Draco. I'm pathetic to ask him that, but I'm too much of a coward to face Meg. So I send Draco against her.  
  
To hurt her. I'm so sorry. I feel like a traitor. I know he can do a real great job at hurting people, it's one of his best skills. But on another side, Meghan can probably handle him quite well. Oh well, maybe it'll hurt her just enough to push her away without any greater damage.  
  
I tie my letter to Orion and send him through the window. I sigh as I think about what I've just done. I'm so stupid, pathetic. I put myself in that mess and it's Draco who has to get me out of it. I can't even do it myself. As if he hadn't enough to deal with, I send him my problems as well.  
  
I go back to my bed and collapse on it. My eyes lock on the plain white ceiling, follow a crack. My mind wanders with Orion, to Hogwarts. I wish I was there. Why me? Why am I stuck there? This is not my world. But the magic one isn't either. I belong nowhere, I'm a freak on both sides. A lone tear rolls on my cheek before I can even stop it. Malfoys don't cry, stop that now, silly girl.  
  
I hear footsteps in the hall so I crawl between my sheets and bury my head under my blanket. They can't know I'm weak, I can't afford being hurt. No, they won't hurt me. Draco will take care of the Meghan problem and everything will be back to normal. I'm going to be a bitch again and I won't worry anymore about anything. Just about Draco and staying alive. Simple.  
  
The door to the dorm opens and I hear Meghan ask if I'm alright since I skipped dinner. I breathe slowly, as if I was sleeping and don't move. I have to bite the inside of my cheek not to tell her I'm not and what I did. She finally leaves again, a fake relief washes over me: I know I won't be able to hide from her forever.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Meghan walked back down quickly. Alithea was sleeping, it was weird. The girl wasn't a heavy sleeper and she always said that sleep was a waste of time. Maybe she was feeling sick or something.  
  
The brown-haired girl sat again in the back of the library, where she could work and observe people at the same time. She let her eyes wander around and linger on Dudley Dursley. The whale was currently chewing paper and spitting it on Sally who wouldn't move at all. Meghan was in awe in front of her patience. Would it have been her, Dursley would already have been punched a few times.  
  
She went back to her homework and continued to watch her classmates sometimes. The hours were passing and less and less people were working. Most of them went to bed. The curfew had been moved at midnight that evening, because it was the weekend. And Meghan was very happy to see that people were still leaving. She loved empty places, she loved night, she loved being alone.  
  
Dursley and his little gang finally packed what was left of their sheets of paper and mashed pencils and left. She sighed in contentment.  
  
"And finally, all the morons are out. Amen." She said to no one.  
  
"Got to agree there, though it annoys me." Drawled a characteristic voice behind her.  
  
She swiftly turned her head, annoyed and surprised. Alithea's brother was leaning against a bookshelf, hands in his pockets. His silver orbs freezing her. She swallowed her saliva and sighed.  
  
"I spoke too fast obviously."  
  
Draco laughed cynically and came to sit in the chair facing hers. "Yes, you're still here." His smirk widened as he saw she couldn't come back with anything good enough.  
  
"What are you doing here? Alithea is asleep. Besides, I'm surprised with the lack of your school regulations about going out to annoy people."  
  
He shook his head. "Alithea and I are insomniac, we don't really sleep. She was faking it, most probably. I don't care about school regulations, they don't apply to me. And I was bored, so I thought I would come and talk with Meggie Dear."  
  
"Meggie Dear doesn't want to talk to you. And I assume you have enough people to bully in your own school so sod off." She retorted and started to gather her books.  
  
She stood up and flung her bag on her shoulder. Without another word at him, she started to walk to the door. She didn't expect him to get up that quickly. He smashed her against the side panel of a bookshelf and held her there with his arm. Her back was hurting, but what was scaring her most was the glint in his eyes.  
  
"Leave my sister alone. Stop bugging her with your goddamn questions. You're a nuisance, you always have to put your nose where you shouldn't. The magic world is none of your business, my family is none of your business. You don't even know what you're playing with, you silly little girl. Keep away from that if you want to live, Meggie," he spat forcefully.  
  
He let go of her and disapparated. Meghan unconsciously put her hand at the base of her neck, where his strong arm and his blow had left a slight bruise. She sank to the floor and slightly banged her head against the wooden bookshelf before closing her eyes and just resting there.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
*Ron's pov*  
  
"Harry, stop cheating. Whatever you do, you won't beat me at chess!"  
  
He smirks "well, I'm still hoping."  
  
We start to laugh as I kill his king for the twentieth time today. Hermione shakes her head at us.  
  
"Guys, magic helps for a lot of things, but it's not gonna do your homework for you," she states in a matter-of-fact voice.  
  
"No, you're here for that," replies Harry while sticking out his tongue at her.  
  
Our laughter again echoes in the empty common room. We're the only ones here, with Ginny. She shakes her head reprovingly. She's grown a lot more serious now, she doesn't laugh that much anymore.  
  
"Ginny, enjoy the weekend! Enjoy the surprisingly empty common room!" I yell, getting up and lifting my arms above my head. I laugh at myself and my ridiculous pose with Harry and Hermione.  
  
Ginny sarcastically lifts an eyebrow. "I won't comment your insanity and will just laugh stupidly."  
  
She does so, but it doesn't reach her eyes. I worry a bit deep down, because she changed a lot. Ok, she changed a lot since Chamber of Secrets, but now even more. Ever since You-Know-Who came back. Maybe she's worried, she always seems preoccupied. She acts weirdly. I caught her sneaking out a few times at night and that's not her style. Oh well, I hope it's not to meet the last unknown boyfriend of hers. Or I would have to smash his head.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Dun dun dun dun... In the meantime... you see that button, in the left bottom corner of your screen? Wanna discover what happens when you press it? Do so, do so... pwease?  
  
Replies to reviews:  
  
Dirt-Is-Yummy: hi Em, how are you? So, I surprised you with one more chapter? Good, hehe. Sorry, haven't reviewed your last chapter yet, will do it soon. Yes, yes, I like this idea of Alithea being a squib... it's interesting. Ginny? Why Ginny? For all I know, it could also be Hermione. Oh well, I'm gonna discover that when coming to that point.  
  
Gilraen: see, I updated. I'm sorry, I've got a lot of shit piling upon my head right now. But I'll let you know that I never give up on stories. The switching of tenses depends if it's 3rd person or the pov of someone. And probably cuz my English is not the best.  
  
Fire'N'Ice: so... Draco should own Meghan... I'm sorry, I don't think he's really keen on her right now *innocent smirk*  
  
Happigolucki616: yup, mystery alert. Even I don't know who she is yet *sheepish smile*. Thanks, I try to insert lighter elements in the plot. Oh, and your bunny got lost... nothing chased after me.  
  
Simone: sorry for the delay *ashamed look* I hope you continue to enjoy this. I don't put down books before the end either, lol. 


	5. A Denial

cough

looks down

Okay, so now I'm REALLY ashamed... I haven't updated in months and I hate myself for it... I had writer's block, then many issues with myself, then exams etc etc etc... but this morning I decided to give myself a good kick and produced this in two hours... so to say, it must not be very good, since written so fast... and not beta-read since my beta-reader hasn't got her laptop anymore and she cant work properly with her dad whining all the time to know when she's done with the computer ( don't you tell him that Meggie :p)

Anyway... I hope you guys continue to enjoy my story. And if not, well, I guess it's my fault. Read on!

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Chapter 5:

Meghan finally got to her feet and grabbed her bag that had fallen on the floor when Draco had launched himself at her. She realized her fingers were trembling and she internally scolded herself for being so scared of him. After all, he was only a bully.

Yes, but a wizard bully, she thought bitterly.

She quickly walked back to the dorm and dropped her books on the floor next to her bed. Approaching her mirror, she scrutinized her face. It was paler than usual, livid. She unbuttoned her shirt a bit and pulled it down to uncover her clavicle. It was purplish. Softly trailing the bruise with her fingers, she recalled Draco's eyes and the way he spat his words.

"You don't even know what you're playing with, you silly little girl. Keep away from that if you want to live, Meggie."

What did that mean? She knew there was a war going on secretly, she knew you don't fool around with magic... But why would she have any problems? She was a normal girl, she had nothing to do with all this. She just happened to have a friend connected to the magic world.

Friend... Her gaze travelled to Alithea's bed. Were they still friends? She doubted it. Draco said she was faking being asleep... and as much as it hurt, it seemed to make sense. But why? Meg was feeling betrayed and abandoned. Had Alithea complained to her brother as he seemed to know about her habit to ask questions?

She had lost friends in the past, because of her neverending curiosity. She knew she tended to cross the limits and she suddenly felt ashamed. She wanted to shake Ali awake and ask for forgiveness and a second chance, but she decided otherwise. She was wounded and angry. She wouldn't talk to Ali anymore. In fact, she wouldn't talk to anybody anymore. She was only bringing trouble and everybody hated her anyway.

She changed in her pyjamas and curled up under her blanket. She was unwanted, so she wouldn't impose. Stay invisible, be forgotten.

A tear strolled down her cheek as she fell asleep quietly.

* * *

Alithea's pov

Days have passed since Draco talked to Meg... I know he did because she never talked to me anymore. She completely ignored me, even when we were seated next to each other in class. I feel lonely and depressed, but I know it's the way things have to be. Draco even wanted to use a memory charm on her, but I thought it was unfair. Meg is someone great. Maybe her knowledge will come in useful in the future?

I often leave a book about magic under her pillow. I want her to know that I care and that I regret. In the evening, the book I left on her bed in the morning is under my pillow. I know she hasn't read it. I wish I could sort things out with her... Altough Draco would go ballistic.

The fact that I'm on non-speaking terms with Meg makes me miss my brother even more. He's so far away from me and in such danger. Everyday I dread that something goes wrong on one of his missions. He sends me funny letters to cheer me up. The last pranks played on the Hufflepuff house, the last class that turned in a havoc... I smile a bit when I receive a box of chocolate frogs. But all his efforts don't make up for my pain.

The more we grow up, the harder it becomes. Or maybe it's because danger grows around us. I'm on the edge all the time. Fear of losing him haunts me and I know he's worried on his side. One night I nearly packed my important stuff in my backpack to head for Scotland... But I realised it was impossible... if I came missing, the school would call Father. Besides, I have no way to get to Hogwarts... So instead I wait till Draco's next visit.

One morning, the headmaster strolls into our classroom. I smirk as I see the math teacher frown in annoyance... Our headmaster is known for his long talks and I drop my pen, foreshadowing I wont need it anymore for the rest of the lesson.

"Dear students, you know the school annual field trip is coming up! it will be a week long and your year's destination is Scotland".

My heart jumps when he talks about Scotland... So close to Draco! I know distance is a small matter since he can (illegally) apparate but still... A small smile lingers on my lips till I catch Meg's eyes on me. The uneasy feelings come back quickly. The trip will not be that much fun for both of us since we have no friends and don't even have each other anymore.

As soon as classes are over, I run to my dorm and grab some paper to write to Draco. The trip is in two weeks and though its purpose is "educational" I'm all excited. Smelting's atmosphere is dreadful and a change will be awesome. I open the window and Orion crashes in my face. But as soon as he gets his so-called brains back in action, he twirls in the air and lands next to Meg.

She looks up and smiles as she sees the mischevious owl. I glare at him to get back here this instant but he doesn't seem to care. I don't dare go to Meg and snatch that stupid bird but I know it has to be done. I sigh and throw my letter on my bed before heading toward Orion and Meg. Why oh why did Draco choose that bird?

But Meg ignores me. She grabs the owl and stand up. I see her tie my letter to his leg and sends him through the window without a word. I'm taken aback. She prefers to send my mail instead of even having to face me?

* * *

Hogwart's potion room was a mess. Snape was missing and in a student's true fashion, all were goofing around waiting to see if he would pass the door, or if a substitute would, or if they could just continue to blow things up by mixing the wrong ingredients on purpose.

Seamus Finnegan added chopped mandragora in his cauldron and a rainbowish cloud followed the explosion he was expecting. Everybody laughed at his black face. Everybody but Draco Malfoy. He was sitting in the back of the room, sullen and alone. Crabbe and Goyle had been rudely sent to hell along with Pansy who ab-so-lu-te-ly wanted to know what was wrong with her cousin.

He shook his head at Finnegan's antics and sneered at Granger who was glaring at him. He acted tough, but deep down, he was scared of thinking. He knew too well why Snape wasn't here, he had been there to witness it. Voldemort's punishments were always fun when practised on people like his father... but on his teacher and spy friend, it was sheer torture to even have to watch it.

When Snape had dropped to the ground under the Cruciatus, Draco was scared Voldemort had discovered he was a traitor. In fact, it was "only" a mission which had turned wrong but it shook Draco. He had seen dozens of people under Cruciatus and though he had no sympathy for the Death Eaters, each punishment session reminded him of all the innocent people he had seen his father torture.

He had to bite his lip not to show emotion as he recalled the night before they left for school this year. Lucius had been more violent that usual and Alithea had taken it all since Lucius didn't want to hurt Draco too much before he was getting back to Hogwarts. The teenager had listened to his sister's cries for hours, his nails digging in his palms, tearing the skin open. His hands were not truly healed yet... he was opening the wounds on purpose every morning. As a reminder never to give up on the Order of the Phoenix.

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please... review? big smile pwease pwease pwease?


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